Anxiety Journal | Update End Of 2015

Hi guys so I thought I'd do a little update on my anxiety and how things have been progressing for me over the past couple of months.

So back in June I wrote a post on how I had started to take medication to deal with my anxiety and how it was really helping to prevent panic attacks. I'll link that post here.

Its been 6 months since I wrote that post and I'd like to think i've come a long way! In no way am I saying i'm cured or that i've completely got rid of my anxiety but I'm able to manage it a lot better and i'm not letting it affect my day to day life as much.

So back in August I met my lovely boyfriend. Unfortunately we live 4 hours apart and therefore that involves a lot of travelling to see each other. The thought of getting on a four hour train journey on my own was pretty scary I'm not going to lie. But I just kept thinking of getting to see my boyfriend and that what pushed me through it. On that first trip I did get some anxiety but I made sure to have lots of programmes downloaded on my phone to distract me and to make the journey go quicker. Being in a city i'd never been to before and only knowing my boyfriend there further added to the anxiety but he was really supportive and his family also made me feel very welcome. I did get a small panic attack whilst on a bus as we used a lot of public transport and the feeling of being trapped gave me some anxiety. During that time I just focused on breathing and the end result of when we got off.

Since then I've done many more train journeys with no trouble. I think it's because its quite the norm now just to get on a train and I know i'll be alright. The big tester however was getting on the plane to go on our family trip this past November. Usually I get very anxious on the days leading up to the journey but surprisingly I was feeling quite calm. I'm not sure if this was down to my daily medication I take for my anxiety of if it's thanks to the hypnotherapy I had earlier in the year which focused heavily on flying. Either way right up to and including the flight I felt pretty calm despite our flight being delayed.  I am really happy to say I went through both flights ( there and back) without having a panic attack! It did feel like a small miracle to be honest. I mainly watched films on the flight and didn't even need to use the colouring book I brought with me which I've had to use in previous journeys. One thing my boyfriend did for me which I found really helpful was he recorded voice messages for me to help calm me down if I was feeling anxious at any point. It was really reassuring to hear is voice and I could listen to them discreetly without anyone knowing what I was feeling.

Since then I have had a little bit of anxiety as I have been quite ill of late therefore it did upset it a little. Aside from that I am feeling a lot better and am feeling positive for the new year.

I've filmed a corresponding video which I will link below. There will also be another anxiety post coming up soon which focuses on how to help someone with anxiety so stay tuned for that.

Until next time, Sophie x

Anxiety Journal | My experience with hypnotherapy.

So my anxiety related posts always seem to be written in the spur of the moment and I guess I just have to be in the right place mentally to write them as just writing about my anxieties could trigger it. 

Today I'm going to be talking mainly about my experience with hypnotherapy and where I'm currently at with my anxiety. If you havn't read my original anxiety post I suggest you read it to give you a bit of back story on my anxiety, you can read it here. 

So back in February I decided to take the plunge and start hypnotherapy sessions. My uncle had previously had hypno to help him stop smoking and it's been really successful for him therefore I made contact with the same hypnotherapist. She was really nice and told me that hypno lends itself well to treating and coping with anxiety. I was really excited to start my sessions as at this point I was willing to try anything. 

I really had no idea of what to expect from hypnotherapy and all I'd seen is the stereotypical stuff on t.v. where they have a swinging watch and use an activating word. Well let me tell you straight of the bat it's nothing like that! It's actually infuriating that that is people's perception of it and I almost wish it was like what you see on t.v. . 

Overall I have to say it is one of the most relaxing things you can do! It can help in subjects such as having trouble sleeping to eating the wrong kinds of foods! So basically we started off going through what I know triggers my anxiety and what I want to get out of the sessions and from there she could tailor them. 

During the sessions she put on really relaxing music and I sat in a very nice comfy chair. She then started to talk in a very soothing tone. What she talked about differed from session to session and often initially seemed to have nothing to do with my anxiety( but obviously it does link somehow). 90% of the time I just sat there and did nothing but focus on my breathing when instructed. When I came out of my first session I felt so relaxed and lets just say it's a good thing my mum could drive me home because I felt like I'd just had a nap on a cloud! 

So like I said there was no specific word that would relax you but it was all about thinking up a relaxing place and getting into that peaceful mindset. 

In total I had about 6 sessions and yes it was expensive. However if you struggle with anxiety you know that you are willing to do or try anything to help with it. So for me it was a no brainer to spend that every 2-3 weeks for a session. Personally I wouldn't say that I'm cured or that it's made a huge impact on my day to day life. However I havn't yet been on a plane since the sessions and that it what we focused most of our time on therefore I don't know how effective it would be. I have now finished my sessions and would probably go for a couple nearer the time of our holiday just to touch base and re focus. 

I wouldn't not recommend hypnotherapy as every experience and individual problem is different however I don't think mine was as successful as maybe my uncles was.

So now whats next?

Well the main thing I've started doing just this past week is I saw a doctor to talk about starting some medication. Now I'm not ashamed to say that I'm now taking drugs for my anxiety because at the end of the day if it helps me live day to day then I'm all for it. We both agreed that I was sensible and went through counselling and hypno before resorting to medication and I just feel this was the natural next step to take. Since talking openly about my anxiety I have had many family friends tell me how they or someone they know has taken tablets for their anxiety or day to day battles. So far I can't really comment on my medication as it's too early on to say if it helps or not. 

I also want to look int CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help further change the way my mind thinks. 

Leave me a comment or message me privately if you've ever gone through hypnotherapy or have taken medication for anxiety/panic attacks as I'd love to share experiences. As always if you need someone to talk about your anxiety or anything else going on in your life I'm more than happy to listen as I'm a big believer in getting things off of your chest and not letting it build up inside you.

Until next time, Sophie x

Where are all the anxiety storylines?

So this was quite an unexpected post for me to write but I thought I'd just sit down and write about some of my thoughts and feelings surrounding anxiety in the public eye.

This sudden burst to write was brought on by watching a fellow YouTubers video. I've been watching Beckie Brown otherwise know as Beckie0/TrichJournal on and off for years now and followed her on journey with Trichotillomania. This is the condition in which one feels the compulsion to pull out their own hair. Now the video that particularly inspired me to write this is titled "A Trich Casualty" in which she recaps the latest episode of "Casualty" where one storyline features a woman suffering from Trich.

What sparked this post wasn't about Trich or the storyline itself it was that I have never seen a programme, storyline or documentary about Anxiety! Surprising when we really think about it. Yes there may be some out there, that I don't doubt, but nothing has ever crossed my path. Before writing this I even searched on YouTube for some documentaries and very little came up. However if you type in "Anxiety" you are flooded with people experiences and stories, this shows that as a community we ourselves are trying to educate people as the media simply doesn't. Zoe Sugg most known for her beauty videos also suffers from panic attacks and anxiety,  she documents this within advice videos and vlogs on her channel and has even gone on to talk about the subject on This Morning. For me she is the leading celebrity figure talking about it.
Whilst researching for this post I came across Sam from Pixiwoo's video about her anxiety and I could relate a lot to what she was saying, it was also interesting to see how her sister deals with Sam's anxiety. I think I'd one day like to interview one or both of my parents as they see first hand how I suffer and try to deal with panic attacks.

Anxiety is such a wide subject that there is a lot that we, including myself, don't know about it. There are many forms of it from Panic Disorder to Social Anxiety Disorder and many more. For me its not just about educating those who have never experienced it but to reassure those suffering that people are standing up and really taking notice of this disorder. We like to think that as a country we are more accepting of Mental Health and we are but there simply is a lack of knowledge and often compassion for people suffering with anxiety and panic attacks.

So back to my original point. We see so often ground braking storylines on soaps and other tv series for example ones on teenage pregnancy and HIV but why is it that they are yet to tackle a storyline on anxiety or panic attacks? It would be really interesting to see how they portray the feelings, emotions and consequences that anxiety brings. However there is the risk like the Casualty episode that it would get misinterpreted or over dramatised but I feel that would be far outweighed by the attention the storyline brings to the subject.

I will continue to talk about anxiety and panic attacks as it is important to me to share my story and thoughts in the hope of helping just one person to know they're not alone in their feelings. I also see this as an online diary although I suppose diary isn't the right word seeing as I'm making it so public!

I thank you for reading this far as it means you either have some interest in me, anxiety or just what I have to say.

Until next time, Sophie xx