Engaged and living at home.

So this is a topic i've wanted to write about for quite a while now. I'm not looking for sympathy i'm simply just documenting a time in my life in which I know thousands of other young people are in the same position. So first lets go back a bit to this time last year.

I was single, in shop work and had no idea what I was meant to do in life. All my life i've paid into my savings to one day try and be able to buy a new car or be able to put a deposit on a flat. Well that day has very quickly come a long and bitten me on the arse. A year later and i'm in a job I love and engaged with a wedding to pay for but there is also the very scary prospect of looking for a place where my fiancee and I can settle down. 

The reality is we may not be able to move out of my parents house for at least 5 years. With the rise of a shortage of houses and the ever increasing house prices, being able to own our own place just seems like a wild dream. Now were not silly we don't expect to find a reasonably priced 4 bed house with a huge garden for our first place, no all we want is a nice little flat that we can put our stamp on and live finally as an independent couple. Unfortunately living in the south also increases house prices making it all the more difficult for young people to get on the housing ladder.

Due to the nature of my job I go into so many sheltered accommodation building with endless amounts of flats dedicated to those over 60 now why cant they do the same thing and provide reasonably priced flats for first time buyers?! 

I feel fortunate to of been able to find my soulmate so early on in life however it still feels like its going to take us a long time to settle down and one day even have a family that we can afford to build. 

Yes we're lucky that my parents are letting us live with them so that we can save rather than rent and we know they do a huge amount for us on a daily basis. But I do not want to spend the whole of my twenties living with them and feeling claustrophobic in my own home.

Now you may think i'm being over dramatic or that it wont take that long and maybe your right it wont but right now this is how I feel and will probably continue to feel for a long time. 

The facts are more people are living at home with their parents because they simply can not afford their own place.

As i'm writing this i'm sat surrounded by furniture in my room that i've had since I was a baby and for twenty years I've looked out of the same window and seen different neighbours come and go. This bird needs to fly its nest with her hubby to be but it just feels like there is a cage penning us in.

Phew now that this is in the open I don't feel like a weight has been lifted but that this is just a slow rollercoaster that we have to wait out. And really thats all we can do... or win the lottery, yeah that would help ;) 

Until next time, Sophie x

Where are all the anxiety storylines?

So this was quite an unexpected post for me to write but I thought I'd just sit down and write about some of my thoughts and feelings surrounding anxiety in the public eye.

This sudden burst to write was brought on by watching a fellow YouTubers video. I've been watching Beckie Brown otherwise know as Beckie0/TrichJournal on and off for years now and followed her on journey with Trichotillomania. This is the condition in which one feels the compulsion to pull out their own hair. Now the video that particularly inspired me to write this is titled "A Trich Casualty" in which she recaps the latest episode of "Casualty" where one storyline features a woman suffering from Trich.

What sparked this post wasn't about Trich or the storyline itself it was that I have never seen a programme, storyline or documentary about Anxiety! Surprising when we really think about it. Yes there may be some out there, that I don't doubt, but nothing has ever crossed my path. Before writing this I even searched on YouTube for some documentaries and very little came up. However if you type in "Anxiety" you are flooded with people experiences and stories, this shows that as a community we ourselves are trying to educate people as the media simply doesn't. Zoe Sugg most known for her beauty videos also suffers from panic attacks and anxiety,  she documents this within advice videos and vlogs on her channel and has even gone on to talk about the subject on This Morning. For me she is the leading celebrity figure talking about it.
Whilst researching for this post I came across Sam from Pixiwoo's video about her anxiety and I could relate a lot to what she was saying, it was also interesting to see how her sister deals with Sam's anxiety. I think I'd one day like to interview one or both of my parents as they see first hand how I suffer and try to deal with panic attacks.

Anxiety is such a wide subject that there is a lot that we, including myself, don't know about it. There are many forms of it from Panic Disorder to Social Anxiety Disorder and many more. For me its not just about educating those who have never experienced it but to reassure those suffering that people are standing up and really taking notice of this disorder. We like to think that as a country we are more accepting of Mental Health and we are but there simply is a lack of knowledge and often compassion for people suffering with anxiety and panic attacks.

So back to my original point. We see so often ground braking storylines on soaps and other tv series for example ones on teenage pregnancy and HIV but why is it that they are yet to tackle a storyline on anxiety or panic attacks? It would be really interesting to see how they portray the feelings, emotions and consequences that anxiety brings. However there is the risk like the Casualty episode that it would get misinterpreted or over dramatised but I feel that would be far outweighed by the attention the storyline brings to the subject.

I will continue to talk about anxiety and panic attacks as it is important to me to share my story and thoughts in the hope of helping just one person to know they're not alone in their feelings. I also see this as an online diary although I suppose diary isn't the right word seeing as I'm making it so public!

I thank you for reading this far as it means you either have some interest in me, anxiety or just what I have to say.

Until next time, Sophie xx