Anxiety Journal | How to help someone with anxiety.

As someone who suffers with anxiety I know how important it is to have someone there supporting you through panic attacks or periods of anxiety. I thought I'd write this post to help those who have a loved one experiencing anxiety but you may not know what to say to them or how to respond to an attack. 

I want to start off by saying everyone's anxiety is different and there are many various and simple things that can help ease the situation. The most important thing you can do is talk to your friend/partner/family member to understand what they are feeling and what they will be experiencing during a panic attack. Sitting down and having a calm conversation about what you can do for them during an attack will be both beneficial to you and them and it will reassure them that someone is there and knows somewhat was they're going through.

It can be quite hard to tell someone close to you that you are suffering with anxiety or panic attacks as it can be seen as a weakness or they may feel people will treat them differently. When they tell you it may come as a shock and you might not know what to say. Below are a couple ideas of things you could say to them to have more of an understanding of what they are going through.

1. I may not fully understand what you're going through but I will always be here for you and to help you through this.

2. Tell me about it and what causes it?

3. I understand that your anxiety may come out of nowhere at times and that is may set you with limits but I will help you push through them. 

Here are some things that help me but I do stress that everyone is different and these things may not work for everyone. 

1. The first one is really simple... hold their hand. This simple act is very reassuring to let them know they're not alone and that you are there for them. 

2. This sort of follows the last one but giving them a hug and just holding them can also be very comforting due to the pressure and being able to feel safe. 

3. Talking to your loved one enables you to find out what can trigger their anxiety and what symptoms they will be feeling at that period of time. By finding this out you will be aware of what situations can be particularly difficult and you can help them to either avoid the situation or face it head on. 

4. Talk to them and find out what could help them during a period of anxiety or when they are having a panic attack. For example I go very quiet and feel quite nauseous so I wouldn't want to be asked too many questions. But rather have the person i'm with just talk to be about anything random or do breathing exercises with me.

5. Learn their breathing exercises. By learning these you can help them during a panic attack when sometimes is can be difficult for them to focus. 

Below are some things you could say to a loved one when you can sense they're feeling anxious:

| It/You will be ok |
| It wont last forever |
| I'm here with you |
| I'm here for you |
| Is there anything you need? |
| Your safe with me |
| It can only last 20 minutes |
| I wont let anything happen to you |
| It's ok to feel what you're feeling |
| You can get through this |


To sum up actions can sometimes speak louder than words and talking to your loved one about it is the best thing you can do. As someone who has to deal with anxiety knowing that you have people who love and support you is one of the most comforting things.

I hope this has helped you approach the subject with a loved one and that you can move forward together in support for one another.

Until next time, Sophie x

Engaged and living at home.

So this is a topic i've wanted to write about for quite a while now. I'm not looking for sympathy i'm simply just documenting a time in my life in which I know thousands of other young people are in the same position. So first lets go back a bit to this time last year.

I was single, in shop work and had no idea what I was meant to do in life. All my life i've paid into my savings to one day try and be able to buy a new car or be able to put a deposit on a flat. Well that day has very quickly come a long and bitten me on the arse. A year later and i'm in a job I love and engaged with a wedding to pay for but there is also the very scary prospect of looking for a place where my fiancee and I can settle down. 

The reality is we may not be able to move out of my parents house for at least 5 years. With the rise of a shortage of houses and the ever increasing house prices, being able to own our own place just seems like a wild dream. Now were not silly we don't expect to find a reasonably priced 4 bed house with a huge garden for our first place, no all we want is a nice little flat that we can put our stamp on and live finally as an independent couple. Unfortunately living in the south also increases house prices making it all the more difficult for young people to get on the housing ladder.

Due to the nature of my job I go into so many sheltered accommodation building with endless amounts of flats dedicated to those over 60 now why cant they do the same thing and provide reasonably priced flats for first time buyers?! 

I feel fortunate to of been able to find my soulmate so early on in life however it still feels like its going to take us a long time to settle down and one day even have a family that we can afford to build. 

Yes we're lucky that my parents are letting us live with them so that we can save rather than rent and we know they do a huge amount for us on a daily basis. But I do not want to spend the whole of my twenties living with them and feeling claustrophobic in my own home.

Now you may think i'm being over dramatic or that it wont take that long and maybe your right it wont but right now this is how I feel and will probably continue to feel for a long time. 

The facts are more people are living at home with their parents because they simply can not afford their own place.

As i'm writing this i'm sat surrounded by furniture in my room that i've had since I was a baby and for twenty years I've looked out of the same window and seen different neighbours come and go. This bird needs to fly its nest with her hubby to be but it just feels like there is a cage penning us in.

Phew now that this is in the open I don't feel like a weight has been lifted but that this is just a slow rollercoaster that we have to wait out. And really thats all we can do... or win the lottery, yeah that would help ;) 

Until next time, Sophie x

Anxiety Journal | Update End Of 2015

Hi guys so I thought I'd do a little update on my anxiety and how things have been progressing for me over the past couple of months.

So back in June I wrote a post on how I had started to take medication to deal with my anxiety and how it was really helping to prevent panic attacks. I'll link that post here.

Its been 6 months since I wrote that post and I'd like to think i've come a long way! In no way am I saying i'm cured or that i've completely got rid of my anxiety but I'm able to manage it a lot better and i'm not letting it affect my day to day life as much.

So back in August I met my lovely boyfriend. Unfortunately we live 4 hours apart and therefore that involves a lot of travelling to see each other. The thought of getting on a four hour train journey on my own was pretty scary I'm not going to lie. But I just kept thinking of getting to see my boyfriend and that what pushed me through it. On that first trip I did get some anxiety but I made sure to have lots of programmes downloaded on my phone to distract me and to make the journey go quicker. Being in a city i'd never been to before and only knowing my boyfriend there further added to the anxiety but he was really supportive and his family also made me feel very welcome. I did get a small panic attack whilst on a bus as we used a lot of public transport and the feeling of being trapped gave me some anxiety. During that time I just focused on breathing and the end result of when we got off.

Since then I've done many more train journeys with no trouble. I think it's because its quite the norm now just to get on a train and I know i'll be alright. The big tester however was getting on the plane to go on our family trip this past November. Usually I get very anxious on the days leading up to the journey but surprisingly I was feeling quite calm. I'm not sure if this was down to my daily medication I take for my anxiety of if it's thanks to the hypnotherapy I had earlier in the year which focused heavily on flying. Either way right up to and including the flight I felt pretty calm despite our flight being delayed.  I am really happy to say I went through both flights ( there and back) without having a panic attack! It did feel like a small miracle to be honest. I mainly watched films on the flight and didn't even need to use the colouring book I brought with me which I've had to use in previous journeys. One thing my boyfriend did for me which I found really helpful was he recorded voice messages for me to help calm me down if I was feeling anxious at any point. It was really reassuring to hear is voice and I could listen to them discreetly without anyone knowing what I was feeling.

Since then I have had a little bit of anxiety as I have been quite ill of late therefore it did upset it a little. Aside from that I am feeling a lot better and am feeling positive for the new year.

I've filmed a corresponding video which I will link below. There will also be another anxiety post coming up soon which focuses on how to help someone with anxiety so stay tuned for that.

Until next time, Sophie x